3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today

Jeff Rohrs 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire TodayGuest post by Jeff Rohrs, who heads up the Marketing Research & Education Team at ExactTarget. A driving force behind the company’s SUBSCRIBERS RULE! philosophy, Jeff is also co-author of the ExactTarget/CoTweet SUBSCRIBERS, FANS & FOLLOWERS Research Series. He lives in Cleveland and has not, to his knowledge, ever been bitten by a vampire—although he his cursed to roam the earth as a Cleveland Browns fan.

I had an epiphany the other day. After seeing a commercial for “Twilight: Eclipse” while reading a cover story about CW’s “The Vampire Diaries” and waiting for the latest installment of “True Blood” on HBO, it hit me.

Email is a vampire.

email is a vampire 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire TodayNow I don’t mean that in the negative, “suck the life out of you” way. I mean it in a 2010, gothic cool sort-of-way in which vampires are smart, sexy, bankable characters who can’t be killed and are making boatloads of cash for the people who channel them into books, TV shows & movies.

Skeptical of the analogy? Here’s are the three key attributes that email shares with Dracula, Edward Cullen, Bill Compton & The Count on Sesame Street.

1. You Must Invite Email In.
As “True Blood” details in painful repetition in nearly every episode, a vampire can’t come storming into your house. Vampires have class. They must be explicitly invited into your home in order to enter.

So too with email. If you come storming into someone’s inbox without a relationship thanks to some shady append process, you’re going to be bounced out by the “Spam” button and blocked by ISPs. However, if you honor the consumer by asking for permission to send email, you can enter as you please. But be careful—stray too far from what consumers wanted from you in terms of content or frequency, and you’re likely to see your inbox invitation revoked in the form of an unsubscribe. (Shameless Plus – For more insights on what influences email deliverability, check out our Letters to the C-Suite: Getting Serious About Permission & Deliverability).

2. Email, Like Vampires, Makes Boatloads of Money
It seems that if you want a hit book/show/movie today, you just put a vampire with a heart of gold (and abs of steel) in it and you’re golden.

While it’s not that easy with online marketing, for the past two decades, email has been the leading retention marketing tactic, and the channel you can bank on to deliver a predictable revenue stream—provided that you’ve invested in building your own, permission-based list. Why is email such a steady producer? Consumer’s who get it, want it. The mere act of opting-in is an expression of interest in your products and services, so it stands to reason that relevant product or service promotions to this audience would stimulate sales.

Email may not have the hype machine that other channels have these days, but ask any marketer who’s measured by sales—they couldn’t live without it.

3. Email Won’t Die.
Vampires are immortal—provided that they don’t run into someone with a wooden stake and an axe to grind.

As for email, it’s been declared dead by more pundits, journalists, and entrepreneurs than I care to count. A few of my favorite reports of email’s death that were greatly exaggerated:

So is email immortal? Well, it’s certainly weathered the wooden stakes of pundits and the introduction of IM, RSS, Skype, MySpace, Facebook & Twitter quite well. In fact, it’s quite telling that every single social network still requires members to sign-up with an email address. That’s hardly the approach of committed email slayers. One might even argue that social media isn’t email’s Van Helsing, but rather it’s Bella or Sookie.

But I digress…

Is it possible that some service be lurking in the shadows with a stake to drive through email’s heart? Yes. However, I think it’s high time that folks stop predicting email’s death and, instead, start focusing on how to optimize their efforts around this steadfast & resilient medium.

After all, when the sun rises, over 58% of people begin their day with email. I guess that means email isn’t just any old vampire, it’s a Daywalker. Like Wesley Snipes in “Blade.” And you have to admit, that’s pretty cool.

(photo by Steve.ie)

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"Email Wont Die." Do you agree with Jeff Rohrs? I do. http://bit.ly/bi2jBd

RT @jkrohrs: Best line I've written in a while: "Social media isnât emailâs Van Helsing, but rather itâs Bella or Sookie."http://cot.ag/bq2w2e

RT @jkrohrs: Best line I've written in a while: "Social media isnt emails Van Helsing, but rather its Bella or Sookie."http://cot.ag/bq2w2e

RT @jkrohrs: Best line I've written in a while: "Social media isnt emails Van Helsing, but rather its Bella or Sookie."http://cot.ag/bq2w2e

Best line I've written in a while: "Social media isnt emails Van Helsing, but rather its Bella or Sookie."http://cot.ag/bq2w2e

"Its...telling that every soc net still requires members to sign-up w/ email address" via @jkrohrs http://bit.ly/bhOpQ6

"its quite telling that every single social network still requires members to sign-up with an email address."

Why is this?

Between email marketing and social media, I think business marketers pay more attention to email marketing for its convenience, low-cost and far reaching targets, and there are many email marketing services. For example, if you want to promote new products, you can use Comm100 Newsletter. It can collect and manage the contact list, send free emails to targeted members and track the status of the sent emails. However, there is no doubt that it will be better to adopt email marketing and social media together.

"Email Won’t Die." Do you agree with Jeff Rohrs? I do. http://bit.ly/bi2jBd

RT @fredalecrim: 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://tinyurl.com/347jso7 (via @pulsepad)

3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://tinyurl.com/347jso7 (via @pulsepad)

Researching email marketing, not Twilight. Great Article! RT @jaybaer: 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://bit.ly/bdDWqX

Really unique way to explain email marketing. I love it!

bec #email is awesome! never thought i'd read blog comparing vampires & emails, but it happened. http://tinyurl.com/347jso7 (via @lipinter)

RT @hnshah: 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://kiss.ly/aI6psz

3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://kiss.ly/aI6psz (via @hnshah) Hilarious but true!

RT @hnshah: 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://kiss.ly/aI6psz

Hmmmm RT @Flowtown: RT @hnshah: 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://kiss.ly/aI6psz

never thought i'd read a blog comparing vampires & emails, but it has happened. http://tinyurl.com/347jso7

RT @jaybaer: 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://bit.ly/bdDWqX

RT @danmartell: RT @hnshah: 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://kiss.ly/aI6psz

3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today | Email Marketing Advice | Social Media Consulting - Convince & Conv.. http://shrten.com/3ju6

RT @hnshah 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://kiss.ly/aI6psz

RT @hnshah 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://kiss.ly/aI6psz

RT @hnshah: 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://kiss.ly/aI6psz

RT @hnshah 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://kiss.ly/aI6psz

I agree with you and think email is a long way from dead. Like you said, most sites still require you to have an email address to sign up. You can read my thoughts here:
http://www.emailsecuritymatters.com/site/blog/i...

Excellent quote Thanks for Interesting post. I Like it

RT @jaybaer: 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://bit.ly/bdDWqX

RT @ExactTarget: Our own @jkrohrs guest blogs on @jaybaer Convince and Convert & manages to compare email marketing & vampires! http://bit.ly/9GSz6U

http://su.pr/1W6Kjy - Awesome 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today

Don't be scared of the dark, 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://bit.ly/bdDWqX thanks @jaybaer!

RT @hyperdrivei: 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today - http://bit.ly/bdDWqX // Jeff Rohrs from #exacttarget makes a nice analogy with bloodsuckers

Love it RT @ExactTarget: @jkrohrs guest blogs on @jaybaer Convince&Convert -manages to compare email mkting & vampires! http://bit.ly/9GSz6U

Gr8 analogies & failed predictions on death of email RT@OpenViewVenture 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://cot.ag/bq2w2e

Ahmed--thanks! I always knew my Sunday night HBO viewing would come in handy someday.

Nice @jkrohrs (email is like vampires: http://bit.ly/9GSz6U). Remember that, to stay strong, both must be on constant hunt for new blood.

RT @ExactTarget: Our own @jkrohrs guest blogs on @jaybaer Convince&Convert: Why email is like vampires.. http://bit.ly/9GSz6U

RT @ExactTarget: Our own @jkrohrs guest blogs on @jaybaer Convince and Convert & manages to compare email marketing & vampires! http://bit.ly/9GSz6U

Our own @jkrohrs guest blogs on @jaybaer Convince and Convert & manages to compare email marketing & vampires! http://bit.ly/9GSz6U

RT @MmeSocialMedia 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://bit.ly/a5yFxa

why email is the coolest vampire today http://bit.ly/bdDWqX

Haha, an excellent post. It is great when a blogger can take great, relevant content and present it in a light-hearted and fun manner like you did here. The True Blood reference floored me. Great post.

3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today - http://bit.ly/c8VwyY #BTCustomerstreet

It is still the most convenient medium for typing out private conversation. You know exactly who will get it and read it, it gives a significant amount of control from a users perspective and is easier. None of the other media can do that, so it is still relevant and complete privacy is a hard thing to do as Facebook has found out.

I agree that email is not going anywhere soon and it has become my main source of communication. Great post and comparison of the media phenomenon, vampires

RT @jaybaer: 3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today http://bit.ly/bdDWqX

RT @ HighEdMarketing

5 predictions of the end of email, 2004 to 2010 (RSS to FB): Why it isn't happening soon at http://bit.ly/9qyz1R

.@AMBabka Thanks for RT on the vampiric life of email at http://bit.ly/9qyz1R

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  1. [...] me to guest blog again. After my critically-acclaimed Tony-award nominated post last year—“3 Reasons Email is the Coolest Vampire Today”—I can hardly blame Jay. I set the bar high with an intellectually-stunning metaphor [...]