Does social media make you more comfortable, or less comfortable? For me, it’s both.
As my friend Amber Naslund said when I interviewed her on Twitter, social media enables her to have friends that are not dictated by geography or circumstance. And to me, the ability to find people with whom you have a kinship, regardless of where they live is an extraordinary opportunity.
They say it takes a village to raise a child (or an adult), and the relationships I’ve developed via the social Web are incalculably helpful to me personally and in business. Some of those relationships transcend the Web, as I’ve been fortunate enough to put names to avatars with many of the people I’ve come to know and respect online.
My online community cares about me, supports me, and laughs at my jokes. And that’s a comfort. (and I’m thankful for you every day)
But none of that works until or unless you’re ready to get out of your comfort zone online.
You vs. The Real You
The question I’m most often asked when working with corporations and business owners on social media strategy is “how do I balance my personal and professional life online?”
“Surely, no one wants to know what I’m doing on the weekend.”
Actually, they do. They really do. You’ve probably heard the saying that people don’t hire companies, they hire people. It’s why “chemistry” with the client is so critical in professional services firms. Why would you not want to pre-establish chemistry and commonality with your prospective friends and clients online?
The fact is, your personal and professional lives are colliding and blending like a 99 cent frozen margarita on Cinco de Mayo – and that trend will march onward, not backward.
Social media is rooted culturally in showing your real, whole self. Pondering whether someone wants to read a tweet about your Sunday camping trip is no different than wondering why someone cares what you think about a hotel in Akron, via your TripAdvisor review. But somehow (especially on Twitter) incredibly smart businesspeople clam up like Mob bosses pledging fealty to Omerta.
The fundamental truth is that your personal life is almost undoubtedly more interesting than your business life. Period. And, associating some sort of noteworthy character trait to your personal brand makes you more memorable in social media. The fact that you run a PR firm? Meh. The fact that run a PR firm, but also grow prize-winning roses? I’ll remember that.
Show Me Something
Now, there’s of course a difference between personal and banal. The stock criticism of Twitter being filled with updates on what you had for lunch is overblown, but the underlying principle is not. When tweeting or blogging or status updating about your personal life, it should be something that actually reveals a dimension of your life, or character, or belief system.
“I ate at Subway today” is not valid. “Went to Subway today. Had the veggie sub. On day 23 of vegetarian conversion” is valid.
In a socially connected world, where countless opinions and options are just a finger swipe on a mobile device away, differentiation is harder than ever. You have to build some hooks for yourself than transcend the office. That’s why I make it a point to emphasize that I live in a forest. And review restaurants. And have a bottle opener as a business card.
Your personal life? Your professional life? One and the same. I know that’s often uncomfortable. But it’s the truth.
What’s interesting about you outside the office?
(photo by popofatticus)
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RT @jaybaer How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media [link to post] (An uncomfortable truth)
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@jaybaer sez: your personal life is almost undoubtedly more interesting than your business life. [link to post]
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How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media | Convince & Convert [link to post]
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Have friends that are not dictated by geography or circumstance. My online community supports me & laughs@my jokes. [link to post]
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RT @tweetmeme How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media [link to post]
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[...] meaningful. But how do you do that? Does being authentic mean posting about every little thing? The secret, according to Jay Baer, isn’t the importance of the event you’re posting about, but [...]
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Wanna know what I’m doing this weekend? RT @jaybaer How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media [link to post]
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How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media [link to post] via @jaybaer
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The balance is a precarious one and sometimes it’s hard to break through the din, to actually connect genuinely with people who share your same goals and values. It is definitely something that happens over time and you do have to continuously put yourself out there to live in a Social Media community.
.-= Leah Kaiz´s last blog ..Cross Marketing and Social Media: Two Peas in a Pod =-.
Leah I ‘m glad you mentioned time. It’s absolutely a long-term program. You’re not going to be a social networking smash overnight. Find friends and common interests on a one-to-one basis.
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Agee @Doctor_V – good post by @jaybaer How to balance (or not) personal and prof life on SM [link to post]
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Outstanding post by @jaybaer How to balance (or not) personal and prof life on SM [link to post]
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RT @Doctor_V: Outstanding post by @jaybaer How to balance (or not) personal and prof life on SM [link to post]
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RT @jaybaer How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media [link to post]
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RT @rlseymann RT @jaybaer How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media [link to post]
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RT @jaybaer – great: How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media [link to post]
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Thanks for the article! @mikescrivener [link to post]
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I’m so impressed – and a little bit jealous – of the folks in SM who have found a way to share glimpses of their personality while adding value to the overall discussion – at the same time. I follow people on Twitter and read particular blogs b/c I find them (the people and/or their blogs) some combination of smart, thoughtful, witty, articulate, kind, engaging, helpful. The people who do this best do it, probably, without really trying (that’s the part that makes me jealous). Their personality shines through not only in what they share but, more importantly, in how they share it. It’s not easy to do but it always impresses me. Your post reminds me of a scene in Seinfeld when George Costanza told Jerry “Worlds are colliding, Jerry, worlds are colliding!” And for George, it wasn’t a good thing. He was losing “independent George”. For those of us engaging in SM, though, it IS a good thing for our worlds to meld a bit b/c we stand to gain so much more from each other by building stronger relationships. The only caveat, as you point out, is that we need to do it thoughtfully. Thanks for the post, Jay. Great stuff as always.
Thanks for the kind words Dan. It’s funny, I almost used “World’s Are Colliding” as the title for this post. It’s definitely one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes, and has major applicability to this topic.
And I agree that you have a lot more to gain than you stand to lose by letting your hair down a bit in social media.
Thanks as always for the great comment.
j
Once upon a time I was a real estate broker (actually still practice on the side) but in the offline sales world you’re taught to be concerned about your image and professionalism. I was paranoid about my outside of work activities, the way I dressed, behaved, talked, lest someone wouldn’t take me seriously. It was maddening.
When I got into PR and social media consulting I decided to be myself, however that comes across, and drop the act and people really respond to that. I think you find the clients/customers who are like you and they will be drawn to those commonalities in you and you’ll both be happier working with someone like-minded.
EXACTLY!! Betty, you nailed it. The secret to social media at the personal level (and I guess at the brand level too) is not to convince people to like you. It’s to be yourself, and make sure the people who are into whatever that is, can find you.
It’s inbound marketing at the personal level.
And I agree about being happier. I love my clients now, because they all know and appreciate what I do, and what I’m about – and vice versa. We have a personal relationship that I didn’t use to have when I owned an agency that had to maintain an “image”.
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Great stuff… RT @jaybaer How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media [link to post]
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RT @tweetmeme How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media [link to post] (via @jaybaer)
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This is something I feel really passionate about and have blogged on the subject more than once. I completely agree with you – you have to bring something of yourself to the discussion.
I love your examples and think you’ve really nailed it with this post. Great read.
Thanks Gary. I appreciate you stopping by. Beth talked about it well in her comment. “Being yourself” in social media doesn’t give you a license to bore. It’s about adding value first, being human second.
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RT @bethkathan RT @jaybaer: How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media [link to post]
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How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media [link to post] #yam RT @jaybaer
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RT @bobcoffield Agee @Doctor_V – good post by @jaybaer How to balance (or not) personal and prof life on SM [link to post]
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RT @amednews @bobcoffield @Doctor_V – good post by @jaybaer How to balance (or not) personal and prof life on SM [link to post]
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Interesting read @jaybaer How to balance (or not) personal and prof life on SM [link to post]
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Love Jay Baer’s post re: balancing personal/prof in social media. BTW, I’m a Mad Men freak & make killer spicy pretzels. [link to post]
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Are we talking personal or personable? I think there’s a difference.
People can be personable and still professional. I don’t really share personal information on Twitter…meaning about my family or job. I do, however, share information that I think is personable from time-to-time (like being sick or listening to music). I think your example is perfect for how I use Twitter:
” ‘I ate at Subway today’ is not valid. ‘Went to Subway today. Had the veggie sub. On day 23 of vegetarian conversion’ is valid.”
To me the latter is personable. I just can’t bring myself to say “Gee, having a rough day…wish it was over.” Does that really add value? I don’t think so. But if I share that I am sick and taking meds, that gives people insight into why I might not be on the ball that given day.
Oddly, being personable has gotten me in more trouble in the office than online. Perhaps it’s where I have worked in the past, but being ‘social & personable’ was always seen as disruption and not professional. I guess I had the last laugh because being social with sales, accounting and manufacturing allowed me to know that layoffs were impending & I was able to get a new job before my boss. She was in shock when we was let go…
What I am wondering is will our social nature finally make it into the organization? Will social media force it?
Beth Harte
Community Manager, MarketingProfs
@bethharte
Thanks for the thoughtful comment Beth. You’re one of the best in the world at striking this balance, and anyone reading the comments who doesn’t follow Beth should do so as a great example of how to straddle the line.
Your quote last week at the MarketingProfs Digital Marketing Mixer that we should all experience social media as people first, and marketers second, is apt here. I believe the same applies for the personal to business transformation. I believe companies that hire employees that are social are much more likely to embrace social media and authenticity at the corporate level.
Being able to show both your business and personal sides can be good – if your personal life sucks you can focus on business and vice-versa. It makes you human. Of course if they both are in the toilet, you might want to clam up! But you won’t catch me whining when I could be wine-ing!
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Convince & Convert | How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media [link to post] #socialmedia #connectivity
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It’s an ongoing “battle” to balance the personal and professional in the world of Social Media – but that’s really what it’s all about, isn’t it? When you try to be someone or something you’re not – you’ll never see the success and results that simply being yourself can bring. There is no “right” or “wrong” approach – but we tend to pay attention to people when they’re being “real” – not when they’re a “representative” of something bigger – we don’t want to be talked TO, we want people to talk WITH. Good thoughts here!
@mattChevy
.-= Matt Cheuvront´s last blog ..Invest for Success: 15 Steps to Effective Social Media Marketing and Better Blogging =-.
Thanks for the kind words Matt. You’re exactly right. Being yourself doesn’t seem like a very complicated or sophisticated strategy, but it seems to work.
I so agree with this post. I have found, though, that it takes a while to gain the confidence to reveal the personable side of oneself. There’s too little and there’s too much. It’s finding that middle road …
.-= SpecialDee´s last blog ..SpecialDee: @steveofmaine You’re very welcome. My friends @sunjournal try to accommodate all site visitors so please ask for what you need. =-.
Absolutely Dee. A lot of it is about confidence and positive reinforcement. That’s one of the nice aspects of social media. There’s always a score board. Not that number of Twitter followers (or whatever) is a valid metric per se, but it’s pretty easy to see if you’re building connections effectively across the social Web.
I have also met lots of interesting people online and then subsequently met them offline. It’s so much easier going into a network event when you already were in conversation online before the event. The other day I was in discussion on twitter with the CEO of a large real estate firm. This is probably not someone I would ever have bumped into offline. It was a good heated discussion but we both obviously enjoyed it because we both did a friday follow with each other!
You can meet such a range of people from a range of places online. A lot of people you would probably never have met. So I think that has to be a good thing!
Jay, sometimes I think it’s sooo much easier to engage in social networks for personal reasons (travel tips) vs. professionally. I agree that your personality, in additional to your professional knowledge, can make you interesting.
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RT @jaybaer How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media [link to post] [answers the big Q about what to tweet]
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I like @Jay Baer’s take on diff bet personal and banal l [link to post]
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How to balance business and personal on social media: [link to post]
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How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social … [link to post]
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To Build Relationships in Social Media, you Need to Get out of Your Comfort Zone – Good read @jaybaer [link to post]
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Was trying to explain this – [link to post] – to K-Dawg last night. Thanks @jaybaer “Balance of personal & professional”
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Jay:
Could not have been a more timely post. I’m keeping it as an open tab on Firefox to show my wife (the K-Dawg) tonight. We literally just had this conversation last night after I sent out this tweet to Casey about beer (remember that WI beer he brought to MPDM?).
Great seeing you again in Chicago. I’m still working on editing the video we did in the bar (about smartphones and email signups). Hope to have it live and blogged about soon.
DJ Waldow
Director of Community, Blue Sky Factory
@djwaldow
.-= DJ Waldow´s last blog ..Don’t Write About Me =-.
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Balancing personal & prof life on social. [link to post] Good read from @jaybaer Best answer: be yourself.
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Great post by @jaybaer: “How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media” [link to post]
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RT @gregcangialosi: Great post by @jaybaer: “How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media” [link to post]
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Great topic > RT @gregcangialosi: by @jaybaer: “How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media” [link to post]
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RT @justinlevy: RT @gregcangialosi: by @jaybaer: “How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media” [link to post]
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Great read: @alibabaoglan by @jaybaer: “How to Balance Your Personal & Professional Lives in Social Media” [link to post] #fb
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This content is spot on. When we step into the office we don’t leave our personal lives at the door. Same can be said with Social Media.
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RT @bullseyevideo: How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Lives in Social Media – Convince & Convert [link to post] #fb
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