Mobile, Social Media Strategy, Crowd Sourcing, Social Media Marketing

The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life

Who Influenced You?

All of us have influences. People who have educated, inspired, engaged, supported us. Or maybe just kicked us in the ass when we needed it.

Tell me in the comments who influenced you and why, and you could win a copy of the uber-classic book “How to Win Friends and Influence People. It’s the guide from Dale Carnegie, written nearly 75 years ago. While it pre-dates the Internet (and commercial air travel, ATMs, competitive eating, Red Bull and a lot of other stuff we take for granted), its core premise serves as the foundation for social media effectiveness.

A few of Mr. Carnegie’s principles:

  • You can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person’s point of view.
  • Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
  • Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Sounds like the playbook for successful brand/customer relationships on the social Web, does it not?

Just leave a comment below about who influenced you and why and you could win. I’ll randomly select 10 winners.

Secrets of Success for iPhone iPod touch and iPad on the iTunes App Store The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life

Dale Carnegie Wisdom 2.0

In addition to giving you the opportunity to win this treasure of a book (thanks to the folks at DaleCarnegie.com for supplying the prizes to Convince & Convert readers), you can now experience a freaky combination of timeless wisdom and post-modern gadgetry, as Dale Carnegie now has an app called Secrets of Success. iPhone app for now, Blackberry on the way.

I’m not sure whether Dale would be rolling over in his grave over the prospect of an iPhone app, but the app is incredibly content rich, and worth far more than 99 cents. The app addresses a huge array of business and communication circumstances, including videos and a nifty tip of the day.

If you are a manager of people, or just want to be a better communicator, I highly recommend this app. I’ve been playing with it for a few days, and it’s amazing how much they were able to jam into it. (I also recommend it on the iPad. The larger screen size is great for an information-based app like this one). (See my review of the iPad review here)

This content would also make a fantastic Facebook application. Maybe the folks at DaleCarnegie.com will consider that approach as well.

Alright, your turn. Who influenced you, and why? 10 books are up for grabs.

  • http://www.verde-photography.com Heather

    One of the people who is my greatest influence is my husband. He's always encouraging me. He pushes me to be better, not only in my photography, but all around. He supports my ideas and often tosses out new ones to give me another perspective and help me grow.

  • http://www.verde-photography.com Heather

    One of the people who is my greatest influence is my husband. He's always encouraging me. He pushes me to be better, not only in my photography, but all around. He supports my ideas and often tosses out new ones to give me another perspective and help me grow.

  • http://twitter.com/dogquality Ann-Marie Fleming

    Dr. Joseph Murphy, author of The Power of Your Subconscious Mind – a book I re-read constantly to remind myself that I control what happens.

    • Anonymous

      Ann-Marie – Thanks for your comment. You’ve been randomly selected to win one of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Congratulations! Look out for an email from Carnegie with details shortly.

  • http://twitter.com/wissensauslese/status/12098572664 Wissensauslese

    RT @jaybaer: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life: Who Influenced You?All of us have influences. People who… http://bit.ly/9zfIVD #marketing

  • http://twitter.com/innovateaz/status/12098573761 Innovate AZ

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life: Who Influenced You?All of us have influences. People who have educated, inspire… http://bit.ly/9iJz2T

  • http://twitter.com/kelvin8048/status/12098574343 kelvin lee

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/ajnOBG

  • http://twitter.com/epopulacedev/status/12098573968 Jim Weldon

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life: Who Influenced You?All of us have influences. People who have educated, inspire… http://bit.ly/ajnOBG

  • http://twitter.com/thgbusiness/status/12098574503 Santi Chacon

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life: Who Influenced You?All of us have influences. People who have educated, inspire… http://bit.ly/ajnOBG

  • http://twitter.com/f2facebook/status/12098575219 Face to Facebook

    RT @jaybaer The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aderLS #SMM

  • http://twitter.com/blogmanana/status/12098575168 Blog Manana

    New @jaybaer The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/ajnOBG

  • http://twitter.com/tinhangliu/status/12098575464 Tin Hang Liu

    RT @jaybaer The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aderLS #SMM

  • http://twitter.com/doktormarketing/status/12098576070 Doktor Marketing

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/ajnOBG #ConvinceandConvert

  • http://twitter.com/kworkmanflood/status/12098913768 Kelly Workman-Flood

    Jay Baer Blog: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aPARzq Full http://bit.ly/c7ZYce

  • kathyk333

    Hands down, the most positive influence in my life, has been my mother. She has led a life that demonstrates the importance of a positive attitude, the need to laugh at yourself and the world around you, and the fact that the most happy people are the most compassionate people. No matter what, you are the one who makes this ride enjoyable or miserable.

  • http://twitter.com/bisquich/status/12101082412 Lee Riley

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life #li http://viigo.im/382L

  • http://twitter.com/StickyStimuli Yael Davidowitz-Neu

    As always, I enjoy your perspective on how the principles of building brand loyalty/customer engagement remain the same despite significant changes in technology.

    To add to your points above, I believe today's social platforms offer brands additional opportunities to fulfill two of the core principles of Carnegie's section on “Making People Like You”:

    – “Being a good listener and encouraging others to talk” : giving customers a forum to discuss a brand and allow the brand to offer customized responses in a scalable way.

    – “Talking in terms of the other man's interest” which can be achieved through expanded opportunities to mine customer data using brand commentary across the web as a customer forum as well as the ability to tailor marketing messages at scale and appeal to various customer segments based on granular demographics, psychographics and even customer behavior.

  • http://twitter.com/berpelding/status/12101331314 Brad

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – Who Influenced You? All of us have influences. People who have educated, inspir… http://ow.ly/173yeY

  • http://twitter.com/jmctigue/status/12102267919 John McTigue

    @jaybaer talks about the continuing impact of Dale Carnegie's advice for sales & marketing – http://bit.ly/cqwdiE

  • http://twitter.com/jodimaas/status/12102667788 Jodi Mallow Maas

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/9n2BrO

  • topsy_top20k

    RT @jaybaer: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life: Who Influenced You?All of us have influences. People who… http://bit.ly/9zfIVD #marketing

  • http://twitter.com/marandagibson Maranda Gibson

    I can't pick the best, but I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who have influenced my life in one way or another. Once person who stands out is in my freshman year, I had a Philosophy professor who told me how far he thought I was going to go in my life, and how I always needed to keep that in mind. I don't know why, but that has always stuck with me.

  • http://twitter.com/marandagibson Maranda Gibson

    I can't pick the best, but I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who have influenced my life in one way or another. Once person who stands out is in my freshman year, I had a Philosophy professor who told me how far he thought I was going to go in my life, and how I always needed to keep that in mind. I don't know why, but that has always stuck with me.

  • http://www.membershipjedi.com membershipjedi

    A non-profit pioneer named Dick Webster. Mr. Webster was instrumental in my adoption of the mindset to serve the members and partners I had rather than constantly be on the hunt for new transactions. Build relationships through your programs, not revenue — which will come as the relationship grows. Engage those you have rather than those you wish you had coming through your door.

    I also learned the lesson and critical importance of being authentic and transparent. To this day he remains my mentor and confidante and I am so grateful to know him — in fact this post has inspired me to call him and express my thanks today. Thanks Jay for the awakening and thought provoking exercise. MartAnne's on me Saturday morning — if you're free, so is your breakfast.

  • http://www.membershipjedi.com membershipjedi

    A non-profit pioneer named Dick Webster. Mr. Webster was instrumental in my adoption of the mindset to serve the members and partners I had rather than constantly be on the hunt for new transactions. Build relationships through your programs, not revenue — which will come as the relationship grows. Engage those you have rather than those you wish you had coming through your door.

    I also learned the lesson and critical importance of being authentic and transparent. To this day he remains my mentor and confidante and I am so grateful to know him — in fact this post has inspired me to call him and express my thanks today. Thanks Jay for the awakening and thought provoking exercise. MartAnne's on me Saturday morning — if you're free, so is your breakfast.

  • http://www.thearb.org Rachel Edelstein

    I had a manager at “The Nature Company” who had the best customer service advice that I have ever gotten. She said that when you speak to customers on the phone, you should always smile, “They can hear it in your voice.” Also, she advised that when someone is complaining to you, do not get defensive or try to explain, just listen…they really just want to vent.

  • http://www.thearb.org Rachel Edelstein

    I had a manager at “The Nature Company” who had the best customer service advice that I have ever gotten. She said that when you speak to customers on the phone, you should always smile, “They can hear it in your voice.” Also, she advised that when someone is complaining to you, do not get defensive or try to explain, just listen…they really just want to vent.

  • http://twitter.com/ScottRWells Scott R. Wells

    About 4 years ago I read “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”, then I read it again…I did not grow up with an entrepreneurial influence, but always knew it was simmering below the surface. Robert Kiyosaki awoke the inner entrepreneur in me and his book and words lead to my venture into internet marketing.

  • http://twitter.com/ScottRWells Scott R. Wells

    About 4 years ago I read “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”, then I read it again…I did not grow up with an entrepreneurial influence, but always knew it was simmering below the surface. Robert Kiyosaki awoke the inner entrepreneur in me and his book and words lead to my venture into internet marketing.

  • http://ariwriter.com Ari Herzog

    If the best advice has no shelf life, why are you auctioning books? Don't they have shelf lives? More to the point, oughtn't authors of social media marketing books stray away from writing such books?

  • andyveilleux

    The current president of Laurentian University, Dominic Giroux. At 34 years old, he is the youngest president of a university in North America (or so it's been said). To achieve such a great thing, at such a young age, is truly inspiring!

  • http://twitter.com/mrakashsharma/status/12105993589 Akash Sharma

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://is.gd/br0rD From | Convince and Convert |

  • http://writingblog.ventajamarketing.com/ John White

    I think this is why Socrates resisted his disciples' exhortation that he write down his thoughts. If I recall, he said that it didn't make sense to do so because the books would effectively freeze those thoughts, or something of the sort. Seems to me Plato ended up writing anything attributed to Socrates. Jay, hurry up and find yourself a Plato…

  • http://writingblog.ventajamarketing.com/ John White

    The Beatles. For two reasons: 1) their music is part of my nervous system now and still resonates with me; 2) more importantly, theirs is the story of a lifecycle. It's not even the rags to riches, so much as the birth-life-death and separate reincarnations. I think that most people can look at their own relationships in business, employment, family and friends and see the same patterns. (I know I can.) The Beatles weren't the first to do any of that, but their story still has the potential for enduring influence on anybody.

    All that, and they never even read Carnegie's books…

  • http://twitter.com/randylewiskemp/status/12107115369 Randy Kemp

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aGWacC

  • http://twitter.com/randylewiskemp/status/12107115369 Randy Kemp

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aGWacC

  • http://twitter.com/randylewiskemp/status/12107115369 Randy Kemp

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aGWacC

  • http://twitter.com/braundoug/status/12107515053 Doug Braun

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – http://bit.ly/bm8ZoJ (@JayBaer)

  • http://editbydesign.com/ @jenhalloran

    My grandfather, Lew Beemus, had to drop out of school in 10th grade to run the family farm after his father died. Despite his lack of formal education, he developed a lifelong passion for learning and devoured every book he could find. A true Carnegie disciple, he went on to become a company president and CEO, despite having never received his diploma. He was, without doubt, the wisest, most gracious — and grateful — person I've ever met.

  • http://www.secretsalts.com Janna Wemmer

    My parents were early influencers. Their support, open ears, and ability to lead by example. Today, my fiance prevails. Though he plays the devil's advocate more than I like, it's fundamental to see everything from an opposing angle and non-judgemental stance.

  • http://twitter.com/weintraub/status/12109436742 Weintraub Adv

    RT @jaybaer: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/cFhUWv

  • http://twitter.com/accuconference/status/12109901755 Maranda Gibson

    Just commented on a great post from @jaybaer The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aderLS — Who are your influences?

  • Kenwork57

    “You don't ask, you don't get.” Marina Maher, President, Marina Maher Communications

  • Kenwork57

    “You don't ask, you don't get.” Marina Maher, President, Marina Maher Communications

  • http://twitter.com/stephaniesam/status/12111282065 Stephanie Miller

    RT @jaybaer: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aNemVF (SAM: So true! Thanks!)

  • http://twitter.com/stephaniesam/status/12111282065 Stephanie Miller

    RT @jaybaer: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aNemVF (SAM: So true! Thanks!)

  • http://twitter.com/stephaniesam/status/12111282065 Stephanie Miller

    RT @jaybaer: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aNemVF (SAM: So true! Thanks!)

  • http://twitter.com/stephaniesam/status/12111282065 Stephanie Miller

    RT @jaybaer: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aNemVF (SAM: So true! Thanks!)

  • http://twitter.com/sbosm/status/12111532122 SmartBrief on SocMed

    RT @StephanieSAM: RT @jaybaer: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aNemVF

  • http://twitter.com/sbosm/status/12111532122 SmartBrief on SocMed

    RT @StephanieSAM: RT @jaybaer: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aNemVF

  • http://twitter.com/parissab/status/12111692523 Parissa Behnia

    RT @jaybaer: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aNemVF

  • http://twitter.com/parissab/status/12111692523 Parissa Behnia

    RT @jaybaer: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aNemVF

  • http://twitter.com/membershipjedi/status/12111794128 Mike Cassidy

    RT @jaybaer: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aNemVF

  • http://twitter.com/gypsealeah/status/12112225890 Leah Kaiz

    RT @jaybaer: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aNemVF

  • http://twitter.com/lacorbeau/status/12112781159 Caroline Lacorbeau

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/9uj0FE

  • http://twitter.com/mattada/status/12113324363 matt adams

    Amen. RT @jaybaer: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aNemVF

  • http://twitter.com/mtw1tter/status/12113327264 Michael

    RT @jaybaer: The Best #Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/aNemVF

  • http://twitter.com/kikilitalien/status/12116321214 KiKi L’Italien

    #assnchat is on in 7 min…topic? Advice. Inspired by Jay Baer blog post, “The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life” http://bit.ly/9rYEbg #assnchat

  • http://twitter.com/kikilitalien/status/12116321214 KiKi L’Italien

    #assnchat is on in 7 min…topic? Advice. Inspired by Jay Baer blog post, “The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life” http://bit.ly/9rYEbg #assnchat

  • http://twitter.com/kikilitalien/status/12116321214 KiKi L’Italien

    #assnchat is on in 7 min…topic? Advice. Inspired by Jay Baer blog post, “The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life” http://bit.ly/9rYEbg #assnchat

  • http://twitter.com/kikilitalien/status/12116321214 KiKi L’Italien

    #assnchat is on in 7 min…topic? Advice. Inspired by Jay Baer blog post, “The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life” http://bit.ly/9rYEbg #assnchat

  • http://twitter.com/kikilitalien/status/12116321214 KiKi L’Italien

    #assnchat is on in 7 min…topic? Advice. Inspired by Jay Baer blog post, “The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life” http://bit.ly/9rYEbg #assnchat

  • http://twitter.com/kikilitalien/status/12116321214 KiKi L’Italien

    #assnchat is on in 7 min…topic? Advice. Inspired by Jay Baer blog post, “The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life” http://bit.ly/9rYEbg #assnchat

  • http://twitter.com/kikilitalien/status/12116321214 KiKi L’Italien

    #assnchat is on in 7 min…topic? Advice. Inspired by Jay Baer blog post, “The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life” http://bit.ly/9rYEbg #assnchat

  • http://twitter.com/kikilitalien/status/12116321214 KiKi L’Italien

    #assnchat is on in 7 min…topic? Advice. Inspired by Jay Baer blog post, “The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life” http://bit.ly/9rYEbg #assnchat

  • http://twitter.com/kikilitalien/status/12116638576 KiKi L’Italien

    Welcome to the weekly chat for the Association Industry (#assnchat)! Today's Topic: Advice (via/ @jaybaer http://bit.ly/9rYEbg) #assnchat

  • http://twitter.com/kikilitalien/status/12116638576 KiKi L’Italien

    Welcome to the weekly chat for the Association Industry (#assnchat)! Today's Topic: Advice (via/ @jaybaer http://bit.ly/9rYEbg) #assnchat

  • http://twitter.com/kikilitalien/status/12116638576 KiKi L’Italien

    Welcome to the weekly chat for the Association Industry (#assnchat)! Today's Topic: Advice (via/ @jaybaer http://bit.ly/9rYEbg) #assnchat

  • http://twitter.com/kikilitalien/status/12116638576 KiKi L’Italien

    Welcome to the weekly chat for the Association Industry (#assnchat)! Today's Topic: Advice (via/ @jaybaer http://bit.ly/9rYEbg) #assnchat

  • http://twitter.com/kikilitalien/status/12116638576 KiKi L’Italien

    Welcome to the weekly chat for the Association Industry (#assnchat)! Today's Topic: Advice (via/ @jaybaer http://bit.ly/9rYEbg) #assnchat

  • http://twitter.com/kikilitalien/status/12116638576 KiKi L’Italien

    Welcome to the weekly chat for the Association Industry (#assnchat)! Today's Topic: Advice (via/ @jaybaer http://bit.ly/9rYEbg) #assnchat

  • http://twitter.com/kikilitalien/status/12116638576 KiKi L’Italien

    Welcome to the weekly chat for the Association Industry (#assnchat)! Today's Topic: Advice (via/ @jaybaer http://bit.ly/9rYEbg) #assnchat

  • http://twitter.com/kikilitalien/status/12116638576 KiKi L’Italien

    Welcome to the weekly chat for the Association Industry (#assnchat)! Today's Topic: Advice (via/ @jaybaer http://bit.ly/9rYEbg) #assnchat

  • http://www.xonex.com Paige Holden

    Great question. There have been so many people in my life who have had a positive influence on me so I think I'm going to go a different route.

    My first PR job was in consumer product goods and one of our clients was a bagel brand. We were coming up with pitch ideas for this brand, when my boss decided that we could make bagel necklaces the next big trend. Yes, that's right. Make a necklace out of your bagel. You can stale it out, paint it, and create jewelry for your kids. She had a whole thing on ornaments too.

    Anyway, my colleagues and I had to pitch bagel necklaces and Christmas tree ornaments to the top 500 food writers at leading dailies.

    After a few rounds of calls, I decided on a couple of things:

    1. If you don't want to get yelled at, don't pitch garbage.
    2. Know your audience. Would this have worked better for the parenting/kid beat? Probably not, but it would have been better than pitching the story to Frank Bruni.
    3. If you want to survive in the PR industry, you have to love the material you are pitching.
    4. There will never be a pitch as bad as bagel necklaces. Ever. I promise.

    That experience made me explore different industries, which lead me to B2B PR. :-)

  • http://www.xonex.com Paige Holden

    Great question. There have been so many people in my life who have had a positive influence on me so I think I'm going to go a different route.

    My first PR job was in consumer product goods and one of our clients was a bagel brand. We were coming up with pitch ideas for this brand, when my boss decided that we could make bagel necklaces the next big trend. Yes, that's right. Make a necklace out of your bagel. You can stale it out, paint it, and create jewelry for your kids. She had a whole thing on ornaments too.

    Anyway, my colleagues and I had to pitch bagel necklaces and Christmas tree ornaments to the top 500 food writers at leading dailies.

    After a few rounds of calls, I decided on a couple of things:

    1. If you don't want to get yelled at, don't pitch garbage.
    2. Know your audience. Would this have worked better for the parenting/kid beat? Probably not, but it would have been better than pitching the story to Frank Bruni.
    3. If you want to survive in the PR industry, you have to love the material you are pitching.
    4. There will never be a pitch as bad as bagel necklaces. Ever. I promise.

    That experience made me explore different industries, which lead me to B2B PR. :-)

  • http://twitter.com/Narciso17 Narciso17

    One Big Person Jumps to Mind:

    He's one of my mentors that used to work at IBM (for nearly 20 years) – he showed me the value of really trying to dig into the mind of your target audience (be it a buyer, analyst, early adopter, etc.). This was HUGE for me b/c when he came to me with his experience, it really ratcheted up my overall level of awareness that not one thing or service can be all things for everyone. In the same vain, there is no one magic approach that will work for everyone. You've got to take the time to tailor what to say, how to say it and when to follow-up…this works in sales, with media outreach and new business proposals.

  • http://twitter.com/michelfortin/status/12119021483 Michel Fortin

    Best quote I've heard in a while: "The best advice has no shelf life." http://bit.ly/druJji

  • http://easisell.com/ Clement Yeung

    Well Jay I already have the Dale Carnegie book in two different languages – it's THAT good. So you can count me out of the competition :)

    I wanted to drop by and share my two cents because I love the topic of this post and I'm happy you decided to bring up some personal development into this space. Kudos!

    I would say that the person who influenced the most change (of a positive kind – remember, there is negative change too) is my girlfriend, @marj_galangco.

    She introduced me to personal development when I was at a very dark cross roads in my life. She helped me find the power I had within me to stop years of smoking in an instant, ween myself off of boozing every day and night and to get my pasty white ass back into the gym and if you go to my muscle gaining site, you'll see just how much change I've made!

    Bottom line, I owe a lot of my successes today to this woman and I'm so proud to say it.

    Thank you Marj, I love you! :)

  • http://twitter.com/cb4yvao/status/12119998442 Carolyn J Brown

    RT @jaybaer: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/cFhUWv This is good stuff.

  • danperez

    Jay, I've become a fan of your blog – great stuff!

    I've been influenced by too many people to name just one but I'll share an influential piece of advice I got when I was just starting out in sales. My first sales job was with Prudential Life in NYC. My sales manager at the time encouraged me to network in as many business organizations as I could. He told me to “get appointments” with people when I met them with the usual sales lines: “I'll just need a few minutes of your time – how about over a cup of coffee?” and everyone's favorite: “I'll be in your neighborhood this Wednesday, how about I stop by at 2pm? Or will 3pm be better?” I quickly realized I wasn't getting any appointments and after a while, people seemed to start avoiding me.

    At one particular event, after several unsuccessful attempts at getting anyone to meet with me, I stopped at the bar for a drink. I recognized a fellow who I'd bumped into before at other events. His name was Julio Goris and he owned an oil supply company in the Bronx. After getting my drink, I went up to him and began to express my frustration with networking. I told him, “No matter what I do, I never get anyone to meet with me or want to buy from me”. He went on to tell me that he'd seen how I go about a room networking, shoving my business card in people's faces and using my tired sales lines to try to get appointments. “You're a nice guy”, he said “but you don't give anyone a chance to get to know you.”

    Then he shared with me a piece of advice that I've never forgotten. “You know what I do when I go to a networking event?” he asked. “I try to make at least one friend – introduce myself and get to know something about them and their business. I never try to sell them anything unless they have an immediate interest in what I do. I don't want to leave an event without making at least one friend. Because when you make a friend and then you see that person at another event and he or she is with two of their friends, they call you over and introduce you to them and now you have three friends. And when you see those new friends at another event with their friends, now you have even more friends. People prefer to do business with someone they know and like rather than someone like you who's just trying to sell them something.”

    He made it sound very simple: make friends not appointments and then appointments will come! I began to take his advice and began getting to know people instead of just trying to get the sale. Before long, I started getting more appointments and even referrals and my sales (and friends!) began to grow dramatically over the next few months.

    Since my early Prudential days, I've gone on to realize success as a Sales Manager and Director of Sales & Marketing in the high-end special events/catering industry. I've been on the Board of Directors of several business & non-profit organizations. I've moved from NYC to Long Island to South Florida (where I currently reside with my family and have started a successful video production business) and every time I go to my first networking event, my goal is the same: make at least one friend! It really works. . .

    Thanks for reading. . .Dan.

  • danperez

    Wow! Did I just write all that?!

  • CindyMO

    Arnold Palmer. Yes, Arnold Palmer, the legendary golfer. When I was a kid, I was lucky enough to go to a major PGA golf tournament. Of course, I went around collecting autographs from then greats (and ultimately Masters Green Jacket wearers) Sam Snead and Gary Player. Palmer was always gracious, a good sportsman, he kept cool under fire, and after a long day at a grueling tournie, he stopped on the steps of his home clubhouse in Latrobe, PA and took the time out to give this kid an autograph. He recently said to the media during this year's Masters, I doubt anyone remembers me. But I do, Arnold. Other golfers are leaving impressions on kids these days, but who better than the gracious, mannered Palmer who always had time for the fans and his Army!

  • http://twitter.com/chriskovac/status/12123653607 chriskovac

    RT @jaybaer: Who influenced you, and why? http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (win a free book from DaleCarnegie.com) (Great program, I took 15 yrs ago)

  • http://twitter.com/chriskovac/status/12123653607 chriskovac

    RT @jaybaer: Who influenced you, and why? http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (win a free book from DaleCarnegie.com) (Great program, I took 15 yrs ago)

  • http://twitter.com/chriskovac/status/12123653607 chriskovac

    RT @jaybaer: Who influenced you, and why? http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (win a free book from DaleCarnegie.com) (Great program, I took 15 yrs ago)

  • http://twitter.com/thetimhayden/status/12123654152 Tim Hayden

    Win friends! RT @jaybaer Who influenced you, and why? http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (win a free book from DaleCarnegie.com)

  • http://twitter.com/thetimhayden/status/12123654152 Tim Hayden

    Win friends! RT @jaybaer Who influenced you, and why? http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (win a free book from DaleCarnegie.com)

  • http://twitter.com/thetimhayden/status/12123654152 Tim Hayden

    Win friends! RT @jaybaer Who influenced you, and why? http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (win a free book from DaleCarnegie.com)

  • http://twitter.com/kevsong/status/12123764200 kevsong

    RT @jaybaer: Who influenced you, and why? http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (win a free book from DaleCarnegie.com)

  • http://twitter.com/kevsong/status/12123764200 kevsong

    RT @jaybaer: Who influenced you, and why? http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (win a free book from DaleCarnegie.com)

  • http://twitter.com/kevsong/status/12123764200 kevsong

    RT @jaybaer: Who influenced you, and why? http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (win a free book from DaleCarnegie.com)

  • http://twitter.com/clementyeung/status/12123794363 Clement Yeung

    Who influenced you, and why? http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (win a free book from DaleCarnegie.com) /@jaybaer

  • http://twitter.com/clementyeung/status/12123794363 Clement Yeung

    Who influenced you, and why? http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (win a free book from DaleCarnegie.com) /@jaybaer

  • http://twitter.com/clementyeung/status/12123794363 Clement Yeung

    Who influenced you, and why? http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (win a free book from DaleCarnegie.com) /@jaybaer

  • http://twitter.com/membershipjedi/status/12125110800 Mike Cassidy

    RT @jaybaer: Who influenced you, and why? http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (win a free book from DaleCarnegie.com)

  • http://twitter.com/chadeljisr/status/12128834343 Chad Eljisr

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life: Dale Carnegie & Social Media Marketing http://bit.ly/a2gus1

  • http://twitter.com/atimarketing/status/12134026450 ATI Attraction Mktg

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/9n2BrO

  • jillroth

    Caesar Milan. Yep, I said it…The Dog Whisperer. He rehabilitates dogs and trains people. If you read his books or watch the show you will see that the guy has a great take on life – it's all about attitude and energy.
    Plus – his life story is extremely interesting and inspiring. I don't care if I ever meet any celebrities – its just not my thing – but I do want to meet this guy.

  • http://twitter.com/dalecarnegie/status/12139068256 Dale Carnegie

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (via @jaybaer)

  • http://twitter.com/dalecarnegie/status/12139068256 Dale Carnegie

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (via @jaybaer)

  • http://twitter.com/dalecarnegie/status/12139068256 Dale Carnegie

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (via @jaybaer)

  • http://twitter.com/dalecarnegie/status/12139068256 Dale Carnegie

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (via @jaybaer)

  • http://twitter.com/dalecarnegie/status/12139068256 Dale Carnegie

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (via @jaybaer)

  • http://twitter.com/dalecarnegie/status/12139068256 Dale Carnegie

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (via @jaybaer)

  • http://twitter.com/thmontillagroup/status/12139175081 Joel A. Montilla

    RT @DaleCarnegie: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (via @jaybaer)

  • http://twitter.com/thmontillagroup/status/12139175081 Joel A. Montilla

    RT @DaleCarnegie: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (via @jaybaer)

  • http://twitter.com/thmontillagroup/status/12139175081 Joel A. Montilla

    RT @DaleCarnegie: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (via @jaybaer)

  • http://twitter.com/emvpaul/status/12139330732 Paul Carriere

    RT @dalecarnegie: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (via @jaybaer)

  • http://twitter.com/emvpaul/status/12139330732 Paul Carriere

    RT @dalecarnegie: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (via @jaybaer)

  • http://twitter.com/emvpaul/status/12139330732 Paul Carriere

    RT @dalecarnegie: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (via @jaybaer)

  • http://twitter.com/hotinbusiness/status/12142032147 Hot In Business

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – Dale Carnegie | Social Media Marketing | Social Media Consulting – Convinc.. http://bit.ly/aIddzT

  • http://twitter.com/hotinbusiness/status/12142032147 Hot In Business

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – Dale Carnegie | Social Media Marketing | Social Media Consulting – Convinc.. http://bit.ly/aIddzT

  • http://twitter.com/hotinbusiness/status/12142032147 Hot In Business

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – Dale Carnegie | Social Media Marketing | Social Media Consulting – Convinc.. http://bit.ly/aIddzT

  • http://twitter.com/hotinbusiness/status/12142032147 Hot In Business

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – Dale Carnegie | Social Media Marketing | Social Media Consulting – Convinc.. http://bit.ly/aIddzT

  • http://twitter.com/hotinbusiness/status/12142032147 Hot In Business

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – Dale Carnegie | Social Media Marketing | Social Media Consulting – Convinc.. http://bit.ly/aIddzT

  • http://twitter.com/trendingtechs/status/12142031968 Trending Technology

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – Dale Carnegie | Social Media Marketing | Social Media Consulting – Convinc.. http://bit.ly/aIddzT

  • http://www.TheESuite.com Dennis Baker

    Who: My father

    Why:
    Because he instilled in me the values I would need to succeed.

    1. Work Ethic: I remember one day as a kid raking the leaves in the fall, I was doing what a lot of kids would do and was screwing around. His Booming comment – “If you're not going to do the job right, don't do it at all.”

    2. Character: As my varsity basketball coach there were many challenges we faced but he managed the relationship flawlessly. At one game, a very emotional night for the team, we found out just before the game that one of our teammates had been diagnosed with a tumor and was to lose his leg. The game came down to a final shot – I had the ball and drove to the hoop and instigated contact, missed the shot and NO CALL, we lost by 1. I hurled an expletive at the official. The next morning in Church, my father was writing on the back of the pew card ALL the apologies I was going to make to the official, my school, my teammates…..

    3. Man Up: In another game, we we're playing Shaker High who happened to have Sam Perkins (UNC & Dallas Mavs) on their team. We were fired up and in warm ups I was whistled for a technical foul for dunking. Needless to say, coach was not thrilled and benched me for the 1st quarter. Perkins scored 15 in the quarter. He put me in at the start of the 2nd and Perkins scored 12 the rest of the way. After the game, my dad came to me and apologized for his actions. He told me he was wrong and that he should not have benched me. WOOOOO – seriously?

    There are many more examples, but you get my point. My dad is “old school” and has and continues to drill into me how to behave as a son, man and father. I can only hope hope that my children feel that same.

  • http://www.TheESuite.com Dennis Baker

    Who: My father

    Why:
    Because he instilled in me the values I would need to succeed.

    1. Work Ethic: I remember one day as a kid raking the leaves in the fall, I was doing what a lot of kids would do and was screwing around. His Booming comment – “If you're not going to do the job right, don't do it at all.”

    2. Character: As my varsity basketball coach there were many challenges we faced but he managed the relationship flawlessly. At one game, a very emotional night for the team, we found out just before the game that one of our teammates had been diagnosed with a tumor and was to lose his leg. The game came down to a final shot – I had the ball and drove to the hoop and instigated contact, missed the shot and NO CALL, we lost by 1. I hurled an expletive at the official. The next morning in Church, my father was writing on the back of the pew card ALL the apologies I was going to make to the official, my school, my teammates…..

    3. Man Up: In another game, we we're playing Shaker High who happened to have Sam Perkins (UNC & Dallas Mavs) on their team. We were fired up and in warm ups I was whistled for a technical foul for dunking. Needless to say, coach was not thrilled and benched me for the 1st quarter. Perkins scored 15 in the quarter. He put me in at the start of the 2nd and Perkins scored 12 the rest of the way. After the game, my dad came to me and apologized for his actions. He told me he was wrong and that he should not have benched me. WOOOOO – seriously?

    There are many more examples, but you get my point. My dad is “old school” and has and continues to drill into me how to behave as a son, man and father. I can only hope hope that my children feel that same.

  • http://twitter.com/launch_partners/status/12163353403 Launch Partnership

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – via Convince & Convert http://ow.ly/1yceb

  • http://twitter.com/launch_partners/status/12163353403 Launch Partnership

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life – via Convince & Convert http://ow.ly/1yceb

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    Wow. Fantastic comment. Thanks so much. Playing against Sam Perkins? That's big time. Your Dad sounds amazing. You're very lucky. And he's lucky that you realize it.

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    Awesome. That guy is amazing.

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    Between the Dog Whisperer and Arnie, there have been some interesting selections here! I agree he embodies what's great about golf – and sports. You ever think Palmer would be caught up in Tiger-style scandal? Never, ever, ever. Listening to him (and Jack) this week put that into sharp relief.

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    You might want to republish as a blog post!

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    Brilliant! Tons of applicability for social networking. You've just written the recipe for Twitter success, too. Thanks so much for taking the time. One of my favorite comments in the 2 years I've been writing this blog.

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    Nice! Sounds like you need to marry her, and quick!

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    So, so, so important. You don't really have a “marketing plan”. You should have 8 marketing plans, one for each audience type and audience need. Understanding how different our individual motivations are is critical to success . That's one of the reasons social media works – you're appealing to people on a 1:1 or 1 to few basis.

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    LOL. Fantastic comment Paige. I had an eerily similar experience pitching organic baby food when I was 18. Good times.

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    One of the smartest people I've ever met, and one of my all-time favorite clients. Marina is a gem, period.

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    Good one Janna. Nothing wrong with devil advocacy once and a while.

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    That's a great story Jen. Sounds like a book should be written about Lew's journey!

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    Excellent example. Funny, I was just reading some Beatles biography stuff today! Are we sure they never read Carnegie?

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    Socrates would have sucked at social media.

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    That's quite an accomplishment indeed! What's he going to do for a second act?

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    I'm not sure where you're coming from here, but thanks for the comment.

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    You bet. Robert has inspired a ton of people. I've followed some of his principles myself. Not always with sterling results, but he knows his stuff.

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    Great advice! Along a similar vein, I was taught to always stand up when you're on the phone. You sound a lot more active and attentive. I do all my home-based Webinars on my feet.

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    Oooooo. A Martanne's offer? That sounds quite compelling. Unfortunately, I have to work Saturday. A friend is coming to town to knock out some social media strategy for a mutual client. Rain check!

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    Isn't it amazing how you find those semi-random touchstones that keep you going? I had a similar experience with John McLeod, then the coach of the Phoenix Suns. He fired me up when I was 12, and I remember it all the time.

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    Absolutely Yael. Killer comment. Technology, social media, and the ability to interact 1:1 make Carnegie's principles much easier to implement than 5 or 10 years ago – ironically.

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    That's a perfect story. My Mom is totally amazing, too.

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    I've never read that book. Always wanted to, but never got around to it. Thanks for the reminder.

  • http://www.convinceandconvert.com jaybaer

    Isn't it nice when it works out that way? Thanks for the comment Heather.

  • http://twitter.com/nomentionofkev/status/12167061140 Kevin Jones

    Who influenced you, and why? http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (win a free book from DaleCarnegie.com) (via RT @clementyeung @jaybaer)

  • http://twitter.com/nomentionofkev/status/12195290607 nomentionofkev

    Who influenced you, and why? http://bit.ly/cFhUWv (win a free book from DaleCarnegie.com) (via RT @clementyeung @jaybaer)

  • danperez

    Jay, Thanks for the response – glad you enjoyed my comment (still can't believe I wrote all that!). I've found twitter to mean many different things to many different people. For many, the act of following is only made with the hopes of a return follow and if you don't follow back, they drop you. Little consideration is made for the content of the person they decide to follow. Of the 500+ people I follow (most of them locals), only about 200 follow me back but my decision to follow them was based on the content of their posts (as in your case). I'd much rather develop relationships with the 500+ I follow than have 20,000 I don't know much about. In the words of In the words of English poet Nicholas Breton,
    “Thus much for thy assurance know; a hollow friend is but a hellish foe.”

    I'll be posting “An Open-Letter To My twitter Followers” in an upcoming blog post (would love your feedback!), now I've gotta go brag to Scott @unmarketing (who turned me on to your blog) about the fact that I posted one of your fave comments in the past 2 years! :)

  • http://writingblog.ventajamarketing.com/ John White

    Ahem. No, Jay. Carnegie read them.

  • andyveilleux

    try to take over the world? ;)

  • http://twitter.com/kregobiz Kerry Rego

    My mom. A black, female, corporate pilot in the 1980's, a VP for a corporation, divorced woman with two kids. THAT's alot to live up to. Enough said.

  • http://twitter.com/kregobiz Kerry Rego

    My mom. A black, female, corporate pilot in the 1980's, a VP for a corporation, divorced woman with two kids. THAT's alot to live up to. Enough said.

  • JessOstroff

    Dennis – Thanks for your comment. You've been randomly selected to win one of Dale Carnegie's “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Congratulations! Look out for an email from Carnegie with details shortly.

  • JessOstroff

    Dan – Thanks for your comment. You've been randomly selected to win one of Dale Carnegie's “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Congratulations! Look out for an email from Carnegie with details shortly.

  • JessOstroff

    Maranda – Thanks for your comment. You've been randomly selected to win one of Dale Carnegie's “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Congratulations! Look out for an email from Carnegie with details shortly.

  • JessOstroff

    Scott – Thanks for your comment. You've been randomly selected to win one of Dale Carnegie's “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Congratulations! Look out for an email from Carnegie with details shortly.

  • JessOstroff

    Ari – Thanks for your comment. You've been randomly selected to win one of Dale Carnegie's “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Congratulations! Look out for an email from Carnegie with details shortly.

  • JessOstroff

    Jen – Thanks for your comment. You've been randomly selected to win one of Dale Carnegie's “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Congratulations! Look out for an email from Carnegie with details shortly.

  • JessOstroff

    Ken – Thanks for your comment. You've been randomly selected to win one of Dale Carnegie's “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Congratulations! Look out for an email from Carnegie with details shortly.

  • JessOstroff

    Cindy – Thanks for your comment. You've been randomly selected to win one of Dale Carnegie's “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Congratulations! Look out for an email from Carnegie with details shortly.

  • JessOstroff

    Jill – Thanks for your comment. You've been randomly selected to win one of Dale Carnegie's “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Congratulations! Look out for an email from Carnegie with details shortly.

  • JessOstroff

    Narciso17 – Thanks for your comment. You've been randomly selected to win one of Dale Carnegie's “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Congratulations! Look out for an email from Carnegie with details shortly.

  • http://nittygriddy.com Ingrid

    An excellent idea for a post Jay! Thanks for stimulating my brain cells :).

    I already know that this is a going to be a mile long reply so I apologize ahead of time and hope it will be worth reading.

    I'm very lucky actually. I've had several mentors and positive influencers in my life thus far. First and foremost – my parents – but there are a few others.

    My father: he is the epitome of an honest, ethical, self-made business man. Although he is very much “old school”, he has instilled in me the proper values to succeed both on an individual level and a professional one. He taught me that family and education come first and that self-respect and respect towards others are essential elements in life. And every day, in my dealings with people, I see how right he is. He has taught me to take responsibility for my actions and assume the decisions I make. He offered me an education that people dream of and for that I am truly grateful. I could go on and on here, but I’m sure you get the idea.

    My mother: she is a strong and self-reliant/dependent woman whose all round generosity is beyond compare. She has pushed me to strive for more than what I am and do. She too has supported me in many different ways. My character and social attributes are largely thanks to her. The friendships I have made and the abundant acquaintances and connections I maintain are because of the character I have built throughout the years – a character that resembles hers in many aspects; one where a sense of humor prevails but where honesty, transparency, civility and sociability also reign. Again, I’ll cut this short since I’m sure I could bore you with a novel :).

    My college coach Gina: as an NCAA athlete (many years ago), you can imagine the dedication and discipline that I had. This is in large part because of her and how she pushed me to become a better and more confident player – both on and off the field. Learning how to be a team player and losing some to win some is something that has stayed with me till now. The support she offered me both as a friend and coach are remarkable and I often tell her to that to this day.

    If you don’t mind, there’s a quote by Tom Landry that I’d like to share with you that my old high school counselor and coach told me. To this day, it’s still one of my favorites and I believe it applies to most things we (I) do and undertake in life.

    “The quality of performance is in direct proportion to the commitment to excellence.”

    Like I said, there are quite a few people that I admire and that have acted as wonderful mentors, but for now these 3 should suffice.

    Thanks a lot for your time and for giving me the chance to remember never to take these people (and others) and things for granted.

    Ingrid A.

  • http://twitter.com/sadiemharris/status/12358812240 Sadie Harris

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/98Sulb

  • http://twitter.com/sadiemharris/status/12400210134 sadiemharris

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/98Sulb

  • http://twitter.com/mmesocialmedia/status/12363941454 sadie harris

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/98Sulb

  • http://twitter.com/mmesocialmedia/status/12439622510 mmesocialmedia

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/98Sulb

  • http://twitter.com/internetcoachfr/status/12391388980 sadie harris

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/98Sulb

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    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/98Sulb

  • http://twitter.com/internetcoachfr/status/12391388980 sadie harris

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/98Sulb

  • http://twitter.com/internetcoachfr/status/12391388980 sadie harris

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/98Sulb

  • http://twitter.com/internetcoachfr/status/12391388980 sadie harris

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/98Sulb

  • http://twitter.com/internetcoachfr/status/12391388980 sadie harris

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/98Sulb

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    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/98Sulb

  • http://twitter.com/internetcoachfr/status/12449209982 internetcoachfr

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/98Sulb

  • http://twitter.com/jocapinto/status/12393979297 Joao Pinto

    RT @MmeSocialMedia: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://bit.ly/98Sulb

  • http://twitter.com/britthaaland/status/12542010993 Britt Haaland

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://ow.ly/1AQCP

  • http://twitter.com/britthaaland/status/12542010993 Britt Haaland

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life http://ow.ly/1AQCP

  • http://twitter.com/fuellines/status/12882481167 Ashley Cox

    The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life (via @jaybaer) http://bit.ly/9wx6Uv

  • http://twitter.com/c4women/status/12882853411 Connections 4 Women

    RT @FuelLines: The Best Advice Has No Shelf Life (via @jaybaer) http://bit.ly/9wx6Uv

  • johngottschalk

    I've had the great pleasure of going through the Dale Carnegie Training and believe that everyone should life changing course. When I say life changing, it is definetly for the better. An App, I'm in!

  • letstalkandchat

    I just found a great company that builds websites for info products. To keep your costs low, they’ll mentor you on how to create your site, design a marketing funnel (one of the guys works in Hollywood and makes really slick videos), and the other guy programmed Myspace. If you’re looking to have professional web design for your small business and not waste any time or money then check their site out. Check them out: http://www.mikelmurphy.com/easy-info-product-site-system/